Things my husband says

I started this thing a few years ago, after Matt and I first moved in together. My hard working dude wakes up super early, so he’s always falling asleep in random locations around 7pm. When awoken suddenly, he says some pretty funny stuff (and generally has no recollection of it the next day). All of these come straight out of his mouth upon waking, and I have no context whatsoever for what he’s talking about.

So, for your weekend enjoyment, I give you the Matt-isms from my iPhone notes…

April 2015

(On a Wednesday night, around 11pm)

“Get your sweet sugar lumps out of bed and make me some bacon”

June 2015

Matt: *sits up randomly in bed* Oh….mom?

Me: no babe, not mom, it’s me.

Matt: no….mom?

Me: nope.

Matt: *quietly* look at this gentleman, he has poop in his pants.

Me: what??

Matt: *in a fancy, high-pitched, British accent* he has poop in his pants!


Matt: well! Somebody’s gotta get their head cut off!

Me: what?? Why?

Matt: because that’s the way the cookie crumbles *sit up on couch and begins boxing with my thigh*


August 2015

To the cat: “of all the tardises in all the world, you had to walk into mine. You damn shin bone” *boops cat on nose with fingertip*

Matt: this isn’t gonna work

Me: What?

Matt: the TV isn’t gonna work. *points behind him to the wall* The TV chord isn’t gonna go that far.

Me: Oh, yeah you’re right….

Matt: No matter how much you bull jive, it isn’t gonna work. Now who looks stupid?


March 2016

From a text I sent to my sister:

“Just now Matt was dozing off and suddenly he sat straight up and said, “the fuck am I wearing?!?” Then proceeded to grab his phone, turn on the flashlight, and look at his tshirt. Then he turned it off, and just laid back down.


You are all welcome. Happy Saturday!

Charlie: 15 months and Things I want to Remember

Popsicle face boy

One of the best parts about being a parent is getting to watch this little person you’ve created, as they turn into the perfect weirdos they are. I want to make sure I keep a record of all the silly things Charlie does, now at 15 months.

He puts his shoulder up against his cheek and extends his arm out, palm up, while wrinkling his forehead and looking at something with his little doe-like eyes. This means he wants something. Also for want, the sign for “milk” applies to everything.

He isn’t walking yet but is tired of crawling on hands and knees, so getting around the house/yard sometimes involves “walking” around on his knees/legs, or crawling around like Mowgli, butt in air

It’s getting warmer out, so he enjoys being totally naked best of all

He freaks out a little when he goes potty in the yard without a diaper on. Then it’s cuddle time for a few minutes

He says “DOH?!?!?” at everything, seemingly wanting to strike up a conversation about it

He has started making a gutteral “guhg” sound lately. I think he likes the feeling it makes in his throat

Says pa-pa, da da, ma ma (rarely), and I swear he clearly said “daddy” and garbled “i love you” when I kissed him goodnight the other day

Gives kisses when you ask him for one

Is SO cuddly since recovering from icky Hand, Foot, and Mouth. He’ll just come up and lay his head down on mine or Matt’s shoulders. He actually stays put for a good 30 seconds, which is new

Puts the phone and TV remote on his shoulder, leans his head over and says “ah?”

Knows where his belly button is. We are working on nose, ear and eye too

When he throws a tantrum about something (he can’t put his finger in the cat’s bottom, he can’t put the rocks in his mouth, etc.) he kicks and cries for a minute before calmly laying down on the floor and curling up into a ball with his hands underneath him.

It’s so fun watching his little personality unfold, my sweetest, funny kid!