I know body image can be a touchy subject for some people, and I count myself as lucky to be able to say I gave up on caring a long time ago. I just sort of got to the point where I was tired of stressing over my thighs touching, my arms jiggling, and my tummy having a lot of skin (aka adipose tissue) to grab. Sure, I sometimes wish I was just naturally thin so that I could wear short shorts in the summer time without getting a heat rash from the chub rub, but for the most part, I just DGAF. Sorry, not sorry (did I use that right?).
Now that I am five months post partum, I thought I would check in with my body and see how things are going (that’s how busy I am, I have to set reminders to check in with myself . #motherhood). We’ll start with the TMI stuff. I was extremely surprised how much my lady bits were affected by childbirth (is that naive?). I only had the teeniest episiotomy requiring two stitches because either my kid’s noggin was just that large, or mommy was just a little too tired/numb to push effectively, and OH MAN was I scared to go number two after labor. Everything healed up just fine within about 3-4 weeks, but sitting on a super hard surface is still not ideal. But, as they always say (and only a mother would), it was WORTH IT.
Now for the reason you clicked on the link to this post, my boooody image. In a word, right now I feel “meh” about my post partum body. On the one hand I’m like, “you are amazing, THANK YOU FOR CARRYING THIS MIRACLE CHILD, BODY!!” And on the other hand I’m like, tired of having to buy bigger pants. Like, several sizes bigger. All of this balances out for a general feeling of just “meh” when I look in the mirror.
I’m proud of my body and all we’ve accomplished in the past year and a half. We got through some nasty morning sickness that lasted almost through two whole trimesters. We carried a gigantic 8 pound baby, and survived labor after three weeks of no sleep.we even made it through the steep, painful learning curve that comes with breastfeeding in those early weeks post partum. My body is like my awesome, fat friend who is smart and strong and amazing and just maybe needs to cut out a few burritos each week.
When Charlie starts eating some solids next month, I’m thinking of starting to clean up my diet a bit (who am I kidding, I have a LOT of cleaning up to do) and exercising at the office gym. Mommy is tired of having to adjust her tummy when she sits down, and all the junk food certainly isn’t helping get me going in the morning when I’m tired AF and still have to go to work.