baby · home improvement · pregnancy

Progress: Nursery and Pregnancy

Pregnancy Updates

Pregnancy wise, things are definitely moving along quicker than they did in trimester one. I have officially started trimester three, and I TOTALLY FEEL IT. I had about ten weeks of “I feel great! Super cute and round and bouncy!” and the DAY I hit 27 weeks, I felt puffy, round, cranky, tired, sore, tight, full and just generally super uncomfortable. Baby is growing really fast now, so those nights where I feel stretched to capacity in my belly are getting closer and closer together. Instead of feeling like a little round belly lady, I feel like a GIGANTIC WHALE who literally can’t walk as fast as everyone else, no matter how I try. My pelvis is definitely wider, and that combined with the weight on top of it makes me kind of waddle a little bit already. Like, belly out, head back, feet turned out to 45 degree angles, hands on back waddly. My back hurts so badly by the end of the work day that I want to slap everyone who cheerily asks me how I’m feeling.

I also am super hungry all the time, and all my intentions of eating six small, healthy meals a day are a distant memory. Costco cheese pizza is my spirit animal, and anyone who wants to say something about it can go eat a friggen poo pie.

Peeing has moved to a new level where I literally go pee, pull my pants up, wash my hands, and have to pee again. I usually go back to my desk or the couch and put it off for another 30 minutes, but baby needs to learn some bladder control because I can’t handle that much exercise right now.

Overall, I can’t really complain because all the discomforts are actually so much milder than I was expecting (even though putting up with them all at once is really super tiring). I have a healthy little black-belt ninja in there whom I am so thankful for, and I would honestly gain another 60 pounds and be pregnant another 6 months if it meant I would get to hold their healthy, wiggly, poopy little body in my arms at the end of it all.

Nursery Updates

One of the questions people start asking ASAP when you announce that you’re pregnant is whether or not you have the nursery finished. I’m pretty sure I am guilty of having asked this of my pregnant co-workers plenty of times before I ever got pregnant and really thought about it. It is a little silly though, unless you’re really, really eager I guess, to think that someone would be like “well honey, I am three months pregnant. Let’s buy everything we could possibly need for this baby and paint the room green!”. For me at least, I was still hugging the potty most every day for a good month beyond the end of the first trimester.

So, no, we are still not done with the bebe’s room, but progress has been made! No painting was needed since I picked a nice Navajo White for that room when we moved in. It’s a creamy white-yellowish color, which I probably would have picked for Bdub’s room anyway (smart, smart mommy!). Matt had to make the trim to go around the closet, windows and door, and we had to have the carpet steam cleaned since we like to adopt senile pets who pee on carpets when Gramma and Grampa come to pet-sit and don’t follow the directions I give them.

Grampa (aka Dad) is making our crib (yes, making it, like with his own two hands!), we bought a dresser/changing table this weekend, I found a super comfy glider on Craigslist a few weeks ago, and we HUNG A SHELF this weekend! Nothing’s really put together or in the right place yet, so hanging that shelf was like the first step to getting it all put together and cutesy.

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Kitty really wanted to eat the balls so this won’t be their final arrangement.

 

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Closet and door trim!
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Matt’s window trim

Also, we finally bought some new bathroom stuff so I can show off the after pictures in another post later this week!

 

baby · letting go · pregnancy

Pregnancy Fears

I posted a few weeks back on the anxiety I’ve experienced on and off during this 10-month hormonal roller coaster, and to be sure those (mostly irrational) fears still apply on some days, but this post is more about my general fears about becoming a parent.

  • Childbirth

To be honest, it’s not the laboring/childbirth experience and pain that I am scared of so much, as the idea that the experience may not happen the way I want it to. I know that I’ll have pain and that it will probably be worse than any physical pain I’ve ever experienced before, but I don’t really feel any fear towards the experience of that pain. Nervousness, sure, but the pain won’t kill me and I know it’s pretty much over the second my child fully enters this world. I’m aiming for an unmedicated birth, but if I need to, I’ll get the epidural.

I am afraid that something will not go the way I want it to (i.e. we’ll need an emergency C-section, baby will suffer somehow, they’ll have to use suction, etc.). This is something I know I need to come to terms with, because it’s almost guaranteed something with not go according to plan. Obviously I am envisioning a complication free, smooth and positive birthing experience, but I need to also be able to accept that things happen not according to plan all the time, and still be happy with the experience. Right now I am reading Mindful Birthing: Training the Mind, Body, and Heart for Childbirth and Beyond by Nancy Bardacke, and am practicing a regular, mindfulness meditation every day in an attempt to basically just be happy and okay with whatever happens.

  • Anxiety/Depression

I worry about experiencing Postpartum Depression. With all the lack of sleep and learning and unknowns in the first few weeks of baby’s life, I get nervous about this, as someone who thrives on 9+ hours a night, plenty of quiet, introspective time, and routine. I am sure everything will be fine; I’m planning on planning nothing and having healthy, pre-made meals available in the fridge for brain/breastfeeding food, but this fear is still on my mind in thinking about the beginnings of parenthood.

  • Balance

How am I going to cope with NOT being able to just do nothing when I want to? To be able to decide I’m going to the gym/store/friend’s house on a whim and then just go? I am aware that this will obviously be a transition for everybody (Bdub can’t just pee into surrounding amniotic fluid anymore without discomfort, or hear the comforting whooshing of mommy’s blood and heartbeat!) but what the heck am I going to do on so much less sleep and without the much-valued ME TIME I carve out every day?

  • My Marriage

I am not so much afraid of the changes a child will bring to our relationship with each other, but of the way it’ll affect us when challenges arise. Matt and I are super different people who complement each others’ personalities for the most part, but will we be able to communicate healthily when it comes to disagreements about how to raise our baby? Right now we just live our lives the way we want to, and everything pretty much falls into place – that is, his lifestyle is compatible to mine, or we are okay with each others’ differences. But when it is our child’s upbringing we disagree on, I want to make sure I’m not taking the typical bossy stance and frustrating him endlessly in the process.

Obviously things are going to change for better and for worse, and I know we’ll navigate each challenge as it comes up, but I can’t help worrying anyway! What can I say? I’m an over-thinker by nature 🙂

Can you relate?

home improvement

Bathroom Remodeling: Part 1

I am finally getting around to posting this!

Waayy back in July, Matt and I asked my Dad to come down and help us remodel our single, tiny bathroom in our side of the house so that I could feel like we were getting something done with the place. Actually it was more like I was bitching about the heat and the house to my dad over the phone and he said to pick a week where he could come, and just have all the demo done before he got there.

So demo we did, and let me tell you, it is not as fun knocking down walls as you might think. On the DIY network they make it look so carefree and cathartic – people smash into those walls with such gusto as if to say “look at me, I am knocking down a wall in my home and these twin brothers are going to pretty much do the rest of the work for me and I won’t have any problems paying for any of this renovation”! Well for the first swing or two it’s amazing! And then you realize that you’ve just hit a stud and then you panic with every swing, worried your hammer is going to pound right through to the next wall over which is the main wall in your unborn child’s room.

Anyway, here are some before pictures of our 50 year old bathroom. We started to kind of take stuff apart before I remembered to take these, but just imagine a perma-foggy mirror over the sink, a flickering light fixure from 1956, and a super jenky, falling apart cabinet in the blue square over the toilet:

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We ended up deciding to re-drywall the entire place since new drywall wouldn’t cost that much, and there were so many terrible patch jobs that it would just be easier to start fresh.

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And then Dad swooped in and saved the day with some fresh AF drywall. I really don’t know what happened to my photography skills as I was taking these photos, I’m normally pretty okay at taking them like, upright and not totally crooked.

 

So that’s it for now. I am going out to buy a new shower curtain and some towels this week, so I can post some decent after pictures for you all. Eventually we’ll need another cabinet over the toilet, but I haven’t found one that wasn’t either too expensive or too cheap-looking yet.

 

baby · holiday post · pregnancy · reflection

Reflecting

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Some years I am better than others at looking back through the prior twelve months and making observations. I created this space to do more of that, so here goes!

2015 feels like it started back in September 2014, when Matt and I were married. That felt like the most significant new beginning to me last year, so my year absolutely began on a high note. The man of my dreams was now permanently stuck with me no matter how bitchy or annoying I become (I do try not to take advantage), an opportunity opened up which allowed us to finally move into our first real home, debts were paid off, home improvements were begun, and all of a sudden, it was the end of another year. What a crazy fast year 2015 was!

So many changes occurred for the better, both physically and emotionally for me. My job had become a huge source of stress for a few months in the first half of the year, but I pushed through and made it to other side only slightly the worse for wear. Not that hard times ever feel awesome, but somehow going through six or so months of agonizing stress and depression which bled from working hours into my evenings and weekends landed me here, and I’m pretty grateful to be where I am now.

This past year, something changed in me and turned me into a parent; emotionally I mean. I told Matt that I could no longer fight the feeling that I needed to become a mother – a pretty big surprise for both of us since my whole life was pretty much centered around the idea that I would never want to start a family of my own. We obviously talked about it and thought about it a lot before forging ahead, but it felt like a little soul had already chosen us as its parents and there wasn’t anything we could do except move forward in this new adventure. Overall, I think this was our biggest growth spurt, and so many other emotional changes have come out of it.

I already worry about how quickly time is moving; just a few weeks ago, I was camping out in the bathroom half the day and not pregnant enough where we wanted to tell everyone our happy news. Now, we are just a quick three months away from meeting our child for the first time. I actually cried one night picturing my son or daughter graduating from high school and asked myself where the heck time had gone and how am I already forty-six years old?! And then I have to remind myself once again to remain present and just focus on how wonderful this time is right now.

Here’s to another year of adventure and growth in 2016!