How to Be More Positive: An Introvert’s Guide.



I am a happy person. I really am, but you might not know it from the way I act or speak. I have had a really blessed life, growing up in a close, loving family with excellent parents who supported my desire to be a Jedi when I grew up, let me play lightsabers with the tree in the backyard for as many hours as I pleased, and who let me try out any and every sport or activity I could name. I really had an excellent childhood, and my mom always taught me to look on the positive side of things, so you would think that being positive would come naturally to me.
Being positive is definitely something I need to work at. There have been various periods of my life where I got really good at always looking on the bright side, but eventually my more critical side takes over and I am back to being a crochety young person. Think Nick Miller from New Girl.



 I’m the twenty-six year old person yelling obscenities at the whipper-snappers next door throwing a party on a Friday evening.

My personality type (INTJ) even proves my tendency toward judging. I look at pretty much everything and everyone with a critical eye; nothing is safe from my natural scrutiny. According to the Meyers-Briggs personality profile, I am impatient with people whom I perceive as dumb (for lack of a better word). And I really do try to give people the benefit of a doubt. I don’t really find many people dumb, but I do find myself really impatient when people don’t catch on quickly (at work, at school, when I’m trying to explain Ikea instructions to them). I am constantly battling myself in this regard. I have to constantly tell my mind to shut up and “let people be people” as my boyfriend would say. On top of this, I am a natural introvert, so being around people—ones I like and ones I don’t like; I have no discrimination here—makes me feel very tired. I don’t really love being alone or anything, but I really need like a ridiculous amount of time by myself, allowed to just be in my own head, in order to recharge everyday.
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 Since changing jobs, I’ve found it SO MUCH EASIER to be a pleasant person, number one, and to be more positive overall. Of course I am still challenged in the latter; there are still people with whom I need to practice a little more patience or understanding, but I have so many awesome people around me that I feel I have no excuse for being a sourpuss anymore. Since moving into a more positive overall environment, I feel like my goals of looking at the glass half full are fully supported. Just this past week, I went to a training on Attitude. One of our core values is projecting positivity and being positive people in general, so we get to take an hour out of our busy day to discuss Attitude.
Essentially what we talked about was that being positive, while it does come more naturally to some people, is a CHOICE you make for yourself. Hundreds of times a day, you can choose to be positive instead of feeling like the world is working against you. I have always believed (even if I don’t always practice it) that positive people attract more positivity in their lives. People who think good things get good things. And they get shitty things too, but they find the tiny little pieces of good in those shitty experiences, and focus on that instead. And their bodies produce less cortisol and more dopamine, and they tend to take less medication for depression and anxiety, and they tend to go much further in life because they fully believe that pretty much anything is possible if you just think positive and work towards your goals. Our teacher for this seminar discussion thing mentioned that one can achieve pretty much anything just by working towards it and keeping a positive outlook. You can become an expert concert pianist in ten years. You can become extremely good at it in five.
When it comes to career and educational goals, I haven’t had a huge problem being motivated or positive. I do feel that I can reach any goal I set for myself professionally and/or intellectually if I just work towards it. So there’s one naturally positive side of myself. But when it comes to stuff like making friends, being physically fit, or generally just having people like me, I tend to be harder on myself. I think there are probably a few people who think that I feel like I am on top of everyone and that I am judging them in a bad way in comparison to my most excellent self. But I am actually stupidly sensitive to peoples’ snubs, and I tend to sense people’s feelings much more than they might perceive that I do. When someone is even slightly uncomfortable or sad or upset or whatever, I feel it. Most of the time, it makes me feel really uncomfortable myself if someone else is feeling uncomfortable in any way, and I try my best to not step on anyone’s toes. To a fault, actually. Like, sometimes I injure myself trying not to upset others.
I believe, though, that if I can create a more positive outlook in myself, it can protect myself and others from whatever negativity might crop up every now and again. So this year, 2014, my main goal is to be a more positive person. To not let fear, discouragement or resentment hold me back from being happy each and every day. I want to stop beating myself up over things I can’t control, and start accepting responsibility for the things I can. So to the cyber world I send this post, and hope great things for you all in the coming year.